1) Harvey had to fabreeze the room because it was so funky fresh. He wanted to fabreeze the entire hotel, but didn’t know how to ask permission in Greek.
2) It was so hot in the room that Karen had to sleep with no bed sheet. Clare was sleeping comfortably with a blanket only one inch away from Karen’s bed.
3) We are living in a residential neighborhood with nothing to do, as evidenced by the chaperones walk around the hotel for one hour! They came back with nothing and no new information. After dinner some of us took a metro into town. Everyone else stayed at the hotel to watch Pretty Woman. Brent stayed back to do laundry…we don’t want him smelling up the 767 on the way home.
4) At dinner Paola, introduced the menu by listing each item by name and a “it has no cheese” post script. She was adamant that each item had no cheese. THANK GOD IN HEAVEN!! Clare picked out our table so that we could be close to regular people. Regular people are people who are not on this tour. Also, at dinner Brent did his impression of Paola for Paola. She loved it!
5) A parent wanted to know if we were in Senorita Square. Senorita Square was also one of her landmarks in Florence. No where on this trip, or in any of these countries has their been a Senorita Square. Try Mexico City dumbass.
6) We went to the Acropolis today. Snaps for the Parthenon, Iccy and Cally! The students continued to piss everyone off, by complaining about the climb up to the oldest freaking thing we have seen on the tour. Everyone is clearly ready to go home. We spent the afternoon on our own in the Plaka. The Plaka was full of shopping and fun. However, some people had to desperately get to the HARD ROCK CAFÉ. They stormed Paola with questions about seeing this all important part of Greek history and culture. I mean really we are getting ready to home tomorrow, they definitely need a hamburger today…don’t you agree! Some of us saw the changing of the guard, Harvey was freaked out by the birds, Brent is not funny anymore because he is ready to leave, Karen’s white pants are dirty and will never be clean again, and Clare can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow while we get up at 3:00 in the morning and she stays behind form more of her adventures.
Award—
Delphi Heat Index—Karen’s Hat that sucker is hot
Internal Heat Regulation—The breeze in Greece which Harvey believes is a gift from Athena herself for his imparting wisdom on these children
THANKS FOR KEEPING UP WITH US! We hope you enjoyed it, see you in the states!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Just ask the oracle...who makes predictions by smelling sulfur vapors, drinking tainted water, and touching the belly button of the earth
1) The road to Delphi was curvy and sickening. Good thing no one was drunk this morning. However, since we were heading up to the famous Delphic Oracle we decided we would answer no more questions on the trip. All were now to be referred to the oracle. This is especially true for Karen’s girls. One had to ask her, “Karen, do you think I should go to the bathroom?” To which Karen replied, “That is something you are going to have to figure out yourself.”
2) For last hour of the trip to Delphi, Harvey was wishing death on a parent. He really hated her for some reason. He had to change his mind because he figured a death at this point on the tour would just complicate things. She can live, but so can his hatred.
3) Delphi was actually cool, even though Harvey had built it up to be the hottest place on earth. Harvey actually got a chill, he was glad to be in the good company of Clare who has also been getting chills, wrapping up in scarves, and secretly turning up the heat in she and Karen’s room.
4) In addition to our group there were some Japanese geriatrics hiking up to the fifth level of Delphi. This was optional, but most of our kids made the hike. Karen got fired up when a couple of things happened:
a. The runners on our trip complained about a stroll up a mountain
b. The kids stated that these Japanese people were kicking our ass up this hill.
c. Karen had to take a moment to reflect on the idea that Japanese people clearly have priorities that we don’t have…like being fit and not watching “The Hills.”
Delphi Heat Index—Not Delphi, it was actually the bus with AC vents the size of a penny
Internal Heat Regulation—The clouds at Delphi
Happy Moment—The view from the restaurant at lunch!
Smelly Cat Award—the stray cats scattered all around the grounds. Again these kids would rather take pictures of strays than 6th century relics.
2) For last hour of the trip to Delphi, Harvey was wishing death on a parent. He really hated her for some reason. He had to change his mind because he figured a death at this point on the tour would just complicate things. She can live, but so can his hatred.
3) Delphi was actually cool, even though Harvey had built it up to be the hottest place on earth. Harvey actually got a chill, he was glad to be in the good company of Clare who has also been getting chills, wrapping up in scarves, and secretly turning up the heat in she and Karen’s room.
4) In addition to our group there were some Japanese geriatrics hiking up to the fifth level of Delphi. This was optional, but most of our kids made the hike. Karen got fired up when a couple of things happened:
a. The runners on our trip complained about a stroll up a mountain
b. The kids stated that these Japanese people were kicking our ass up this hill.
c. Karen had to take a moment to reflect on the idea that Japanese people clearly have priorities that we don’t have…like being fit and not watching “The Hills.”
Delphi Heat Index—Not Delphi, it was actually the bus with AC vents the size of a penny
Internal Heat Regulation—The clouds at Delphi
Happy Moment—The view from the restaurant at lunch!
Smelly Cat Award—the stray cats scattered all around the grounds. Again these kids would rather take pictures of strays than 6th century relics.
Patras
-- We lost a Passport, we finally found it. The girl didn’t cry because of the lost passport and HARVEY WAS PISSED.
--A special parent asked the staff at a restaurant what EVERY SINGLE item was and if it had cheese. It was vanilla ice cream…of course it had cheese.
--The students went apeshit over some soccer players. Oh, by the way they were deaf soccer players, but one young lady informed Clare that everyone could speak the international language of love.
--At the request of the chaperones, Paola had to address PJs at meals. She is patient and simply stated, “In Europe it is not really customary to wear your pajamas at dinner.” Way to go team! Let’s impress everyone by showing them that Americans will wear anything anywhere!
--The hotel was beautiful and the beach was too!
--A special parent asked the staff at a restaurant what EVERY SINGLE item was and if it had cheese. It was vanilla ice cream…of course it had cheese.
--The students went apeshit over some soccer players. Oh, by the way they were deaf soccer players, but one young lady informed Clare that everyone could speak the international language of love.
--At the request of the chaperones, Paola had to address PJs at meals. She is patient and simply stated, “In Europe it is not really customary to wear your pajamas at dinner.” Way to go team! Let’s impress everyone by showing them that Americans will wear anything anywhere!
--The hotel was beautiful and the beach was too!
Superfast Ferry to Greece...Not so super fast, but full of adventure
When we mentioned the need to take notes for the blog about the ferry, Clare sighed “Oh Jesus.” That is how fantastic the experience on board was!
1) The kids got palatial estates, and the adults got human dioramas. The human dioramas had thin walls, ladders for bunk beds, and toilets that doubled as shower benches.
2) The ferry did have a “pool,” we use the word pool very loosely because it was more like a mop bucket. No one could dive in because you would die(from the head trama or the ebola virus). There were some dirty, skuzzy, trashy people on board and no one got in… that is how bad it was.
3) Dinner consisted of noodles and ragu. When our no cheese friend saw parmesan within two feet of her she screamed “CAN SOMEONE SPEAK GREEK SO THAT THEY CAN TELL THEM NO CHEESE FOR ME?” Harvey really wanted to tell her that the way to ask for no cheese in Greek is to say “IMA FUCKINGRE TARD,” but instead he said they can speak English. Later at dinner she demanded to know where the sun was going to set. Harvey needed a gun, not a compass!
4) Speaking of sunsets…another parent wanted to take a picture of that elusive sunset(a picture from a boat that could be sinking in one hour and is full of cheap, smelly travelers). Brent told here that she could walk around the perimeter of the entire boat and certainly she would find it. She asked “Do you want to see the moon?” She threatened to moon him and show him the “Sea of the tranquility that flows right down the middle” of her own personal moon. WHAT?? Brent went into the fetal position and wanted his mom. That was not an option on board the good ship fuck it up so, Brent lost it and had to drink.
5) JOJO Discotheque! A restaurant transforms itself into a club at night. A club for anyone, but really for the teenagers on board who want to dance, drink, and get observed by nasty men with tight, tight jeans. Our students joined in the fun and this is what ensued.
a. Many need that first drink of their lives. Being the smartest students at our school they jumped head first into debauchery by pre partying with CHEAP VODKA in the room and following that with TEQUILA SUNRISE!
b. We had two children puke, four children cry, two children tattle tale, and two children with NASTY hangovers.
c. We had to close down shop 15 minutes early because two 35 plus sketchy guys got in a bar brawl.
d. When went to do room checks we couldn’t find two children. They were found on deck with some Australian students who decided to pack beer bongs instead of sleeping bags. They were trying to convince our students to bong beers, do drugs, and have sex. Also on deck were children from Canada getting hammered with their teachers and Contiki tours 18-35 crowd. The Contiki folks were taking the drunk tank tour all around Europe.
e. Back in the rooms, the beds were vibrating because of the boat. We are sure that was special for the 85 pound drunk girls trying to sleep and not puke!
Award
Best Meal of the trip—Superfast Ferry Breakfast—a croissant and hard boiled egg, and on the side a roll!
Best Décor—The non-smoking session flanked by two smoking sections.
1) The kids got palatial estates, and the adults got human dioramas. The human dioramas had thin walls, ladders for bunk beds, and toilets that doubled as shower benches.
2) The ferry did have a “pool,” we use the word pool very loosely because it was more like a mop bucket. No one could dive in because you would die(from the head trama or the ebola virus). There were some dirty, skuzzy, trashy people on board and no one got in… that is how bad it was.
3) Dinner consisted of noodles and ragu. When our no cheese friend saw parmesan within two feet of her she screamed “CAN SOMEONE SPEAK GREEK SO THAT THEY CAN TELL THEM NO CHEESE FOR ME?” Harvey really wanted to tell her that the way to ask for no cheese in Greek is to say “IMA FUCKINGRE TARD,” but instead he said they can speak English. Later at dinner she demanded to know where the sun was going to set. Harvey needed a gun, not a compass!
4) Speaking of sunsets…another parent wanted to take a picture of that elusive sunset(a picture from a boat that could be sinking in one hour and is full of cheap, smelly travelers). Brent told here that she could walk around the perimeter of the entire boat and certainly she would find it. She asked “Do you want to see the moon?” She threatened to moon him and show him the “Sea of the tranquility that flows right down the middle” of her own personal moon. WHAT?? Brent went into the fetal position and wanted his mom. That was not an option on board the good ship fuck it up so, Brent lost it and had to drink.
5) JOJO Discotheque! A restaurant transforms itself into a club at night. A club for anyone, but really for the teenagers on board who want to dance, drink, and get observed by nasty men with tight, tight jeans. Our students joined in the fun and this is what ensued.
a. Many need that first drink of their lives. Being the smartest students at our school they jumped head first into debauchery by pre partying with CHEAP VODKA in the room and following that with TEQUILA SUNRISE!
b. We had two children puke, four children cry, two children tattle tale, and two children with NASTY hangovers.
c. We had to close down shop 15 minutes early because two 35 plus sketchy guys got in a bar brawl.
d. When went to do room checks we couldn’t find two children. They were found on deck with some Australian students who decided to pack beer bongs instead of sleeping bags. They were trying to convince our students to bong beers, do drugs, and have sex. Also on deck were children from Canada getting hammered with their teachers and Contiki tours 18-35 crowd. The Contiki folks were taking the drunk tank tour all around Europe.
e. Back in the rooms, the beds were vibrating because of the boat. We are sure that was special for the 85 pound drunk girls trying to sleep and not puke!
Award
Best Meal of the trip—Superfast Ferry Breakfast—a croissant and hard boiled egg, and on the side a roll!
Best Décor—The non-smoking session flanked by two smoking sections.
Pompeii--ONE THING MORE!
Let’s just start this off by saying that we got the XXX tour of the grounds. Gianni in true Italian style met us with his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his graying chest hair, his thick accent, ball hugging white pants, and misogynistic overtones.
1) Harvey gets things started off right at breakfast by yelling at a student for asking questions and then doing whatever the hell she wants(he ruins her day, he doesn’t care). Harvey continues a great breakfast by suggesting that Karen must write a grant to come back to this hotel to help the geriatric crowd.
2) We get to Pompeii and learn so much…
a. Vomitorium—the citizens of Pompeii wanted to impress each other so at dinner they would often eat until they were full and then puke it up to eat some more. They also laid down to eat.
b. Let’s Get It Started—Often after vomiting and eating Gianni reported that the orgies could just start write there at the dinner table. Very forward thinking Romans.
c. Get in the Corner—One the first night of a Roman Marriage you might think these people needed to consummate their love…WRONG. Gianni has learned that Roman men would bring their new 14 year old wives home and put them in the corner. Once in the corner a man would tell the wife about all of her chores, then he would go have sex with his young male boy toy. Mazel Tov!
d. Pompeii has He/Shes—Gianni constantly referred to the prostitution ring going on in Pompeii. Some had pimps, some didn’t. Their calling card was a howl in the streets and Gianni really wanted to emphasize that the prostitutes came in the form of both genders…he and she. Whatever you like. All of the citizens wanted to look good so they would wax themselves head to toe for the he/she prostitutes so that they would like NICE. Gianni really needed to emphasize that these people wanted to look nice NOT handsome.
e. PHALLIC SYMBOLS—There are more penises in Pompeii and on our tour than there are in all of this years Playgirl Magazines. There phallic symbols made of stone, paint, and plaster. Penises could be used as arrows to point you towards the red light district. Dicks were given as gifts. You would never, ever buy a penis for yourself. Gianni really needed to impress upon us the idea that the bigger the penis the better. I mean who didn’t know that. I’m sure his wife is happy because his ball huggers left nothing to the imagination. Gianni also needed to take a moment to look out for our students and he talked to us like he talked to his own kids. What did he tell the students? USE CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Romans invented condoms coming in all shapes and sizes and mediums. The condom material of choice…cow intestines.
f. A visit to the brothel was great. The brothel was set up like McDonalds you just look at the pictures and point at what you wanted. We walked in and saw paintings of spankings, tickling, butt sex and more! The students either loved it or hated it. Some hightailed it out of there, meanwhile others took pictures, drew sketches, and made notes about positions of choice in the ancient city. Upon exiting the brothel we heard the following from the kids:
i. “That looks complicated”
ii. “I didn’t know that was possible”
iii. “Is that one getting spanked?”
iv. “I see my future(she was talking about archaeology, but was looking at fresco porn.)”
Awards
International Ambassador Award—Clare, who ran into people she new at Pompeii
Stereotype Award—Antonio, our driver. He was sporting an Italian Jerry Curl, an open shirt, wild chest hair, and gold chain.
Delphi Heat Index—ALL OF POMPEII—hotter than pyroclastic flow(not lava)
Internal Heat regulation—Italian Slushies!!
1) Harvey gets things started off right at breakfast by yelling at a student for asking questions and then doing whatever the hell she wants(he ruins her day, he doesn’t care). Harvey continues a great breakfast by suggesting that Karen must write a grant to come back to this hotel to help the geriatric crowd.
2) We get to Pompeii and learn so much…
a. Vomitorium—the citizens of Pompeii wanted to impress each other so at dinner they would often eat until they were full and then puke it up to eat some more. They also laid down to eat.
b. Let’s Get It Started—Often after vomiting and eating Gianni reported that the orgies could just start write there at the dinner table. Very forward thinking Romans.
c. Get in the Corner—One the first night of a Roman Marriage you might think these people needed to consummate their love…WRONG. Gianni has learned that Roman men would bring their new 14 year old wives home and put them in the corner. Once in the corner a man would tell the wife about all of her chores, then he would go have sex with his young male boy toy. Mazel Tov!
d. Pompeii has He/Shes—Gianni constantly referred to the prostitution ring going on in Pompeii. Some had pimps, some didn’t. Their calling card was a howl in the streets and Gianni really wanted to emphasize that the prostitutes came in the form of both genders…he and she. Whatever you like. All of the citizens wanted to look good so they would wax themselves head to toe for the he/she prostitutes so that they would like NICE. Gianni really needed to emphasize that these people wanted to look nice NOT handsome.
e. PHALLIC SYMBOLS—There are more penises in Pompeii and on our tour than there are in all of this years Playgirl Magazines. There phallic symbols made of stone, paint, and plaster. Penises could be used as arrows to point you towards the red light district. Dicks were given as gifts. You would never, ever buy a penis for yourself. Gianni really needed to impress upon us the idea that the bigger the penis the better. I mean who didn’t know that. I’m sure his wife is happy because his ball huggers left nothing to the imagination. Gianni also needed to take a moment to look out for our students and he talked to us like he talked to his own kids. What did he tell the students? USE CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Romans invented condoms coming in all shapes and sizes and mediums. The condom material of choice…cow intestines.
f. A visit to the brothel was great. The brothel was set up like McDonalds you just look at the pictures and point at what you wanted. We walked in and saw paintings of spankings, tickling, butt sex and more! The students either loved it or hated it. Some hightailed it out of there, meanwhile others took pictures, drew sketches, and made notes about positions of choice in the ancient city. Upon exiting the brothel we heard the following from the kids:
i. “That looks complicated”
ii. “I didn’t know that was possible”
iii. “Is that one getting spanked?”
iv. “I see my future(she was talking about archaeology, but was looking at fresco porn.)”
Awards
International Ambassador Award—Clare, who ran into people she new at Pompeii
Stereotype Award—Antonio, our driver. He was sporting an Italian Jerry Curl, an open shirt, wild chest hair, and gold chain.
Delphi Heat Index—ALL OF POMPEII—hotter than pyroclastic flow(not lava)
Internal Heat regulation—Italian Slushies!!
Capri...we didn't see Mariah Carey but...
1)We left Rome to visit Capri and had to leave from the port of Naples where we met our tour guide Gianni. Gianni met us clad in purple pants and with his phone number on stickers that he placed on the girls boobs, he had to make sure they were on nice and tight. As we boarded the ferry almost all of the seats were taken or covered with stuff. Most of the students picked up on the international language of signs, eyebrow raising, and pointing to empty seats to see if they could sit there, but(and isn’t there ALWAYS a but) one of the bitchy, lazy parents(the 15 minute/no cheese lady), SCREAMED across the ferry to Karen, “Can you find Paola so that she can ask these people if these seats are taken.” I mean the dumb bitch is half way across the world and couldn’t muster any means of figuring this out for herself. Karen told her to ask if the seats were occupied, and in a fit of rage and disappointment in humanity Harvey stomped off downstairs for a moment of Zen away from the f-tards.
2) Once on Capri, we were off to the Blue Grotto, a sea cave that is illuminated by mineral deposits. We traveled out in the sea on a large boat, and had to transfer to little three or four person boats to get into the Grotto. Once in these boats you had to lie down to get into the cave, or you would face plant into the walls. The boat rowers, who Harvey thinks are the equivalent of poor white trash, told everyone to lie down in Clare’s boat and he to had to lie down as well. He leans back into the breasts of one of parents and swishes his head around in that special area and says “Mmmmmmm…squishy!” Meanwhile in Harvey and Karen’s boat, Harvey is being cursed slam out for not tipping him enough, Clare was asked to skinny dip, and Brent had a special experience of his own…see awards below.
FYI— BIMBI is the thickest, greasiest, and most viscous sunscreen of all time. Karen purchased this important item in Rome knowing she needed some more protection from the sun. This is what you need to know in order to appreciate #3.
3) Bimbi has done a miracolus job keeping Karen cancer free, but it has also ellicted a few funny converstation.s Here is the dialogue exchange in preparation for Capri…
Clare: I hope we go swimming because I need maximum skin to water contact.
Karen: Well, I need maximum skin to Bimbi contact.
4) Harvey stays at the top of Capri to explore. While Clare, Brent, and Karen go down to the shore to swim with the kids. When Harvey returns from a relaxing afternoon of shopping, granitas, and shade he walks into a shit storm of Capritian proportions. There were three children bleeding from beach rock incidents, Brent and a student rescued a small child, Brent’s towel was sacrificed to become a tourniquet for one of the rock incidents, girls were losing their tops because they have no idea how big there breasts are, super mom left all of the kids stuff(passports included) alone on the beach, and Brent’s sunglasses were ruined when one of these kids stomped them like no tomorrow.
5) We ferry off to the town of Sorrento for the evening and pile into one small bus. No one can see anything out of the window, but being the great tour guide that she is Paola perseveres and tells us a little about the town, pointing out a couple of things. She points out a pedestrian road and 15 minute cheese woman screams at the top of her lungs and in Harvey’s ear “WHAT ARE YOU SEEING, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, WHAT AM I MISSING?” Good grief, we were seeing a foot path something we know she isn’t interested in because you have to walk it.
6) We arrive at a gorgeous hotel which doubles as a skilled nursing facility for the geriatric crowd(there were stewed prunes for breakfast). The rooms were awesome and Harvey acted like a kid in heaven because the rooms in Rome were prison cells at best. Dinner was great even though two students, tweedle dee and tweedle dumb fuck, wore their PAJAMAS to dinner. After dinner we wondered around the seaside town of Sorrento enjoying giant beers that were bigger than a Big Gulp and lethal lemoncello.
Awards for the day…
Wii Fit Award—Rocky Beach on Capri
Italian Stereotype—Gianni for being Gianni
Most likely to be smothered by a male rowers tits—Brent
Most likely to only tip 20 cents—Harvey
Delphi heat index—little bus crammed with 45 people and a driver
Internal Heat Regulation—Swimming in the Mediterranean
2) Once on Capri, we were off to the Blue Grotto, a sea cave that is illuminated by mineral deposits. We traveled out in the sea on a large boat, and had to transfer to little three or four person boats to get into the Grotto. Once in these boats you had to lie down to get into the cave, or you would face plant into the walls. The boat rowers, who Harvey thinks are the equivalent of poor white trash, told everyone to lie down in Clare’s boat and he to had to lie down as well. He leans back into the breasts of one of parents and swishes his head around in that special area and says “Mmmmmmm…squishy!” Meanwhile in Harvey and Karen’s boat, Harvey is being cursed slam out for not tipping him enough, Clare was asked to skinny dip, and Brent had a special experience of his own…see awards below.
FYI— BIMBI is the thickest, greasiest, and most viscous sunscreen of all time. Karen purchased this important item in Rome knowing she needed some more protection from the sun. This is what you need to know in order to appreciate #3.
3) Bimbi has done a miracolus job keeping Karen cancer free, but it has also ellicted a few funny converstation.s Here is the dialogue exchange in preparation for Capri…
Clare: I hope we go swimming because I need maximum skin to water contact.
Karen: Well, I need maximum skin to Bimbi contact.
4) Harvey stays at the top of Capri to explore. While Clare, Brent, and Karen go down to the shore to swim with the kids. When Harvey returns from a relaxing afternoon of shopping, granitas, and shade he walks into a shit storm of Capritian proportions. There were three children bleeding from beach rock incidents, Brent and a student rescued a small child, Brent’s towel was sacrificed to become a tourniquet for one of the rock incidents, girls were losing their tops because they have no idea how big there breasts are, super mom left all of the kids stuff(passports included) alone on the beach, and Brent’s sunglasses were ruined when one of these kids stomped them like no tomorrow.
5) We ferry off to the town of Sorrento for the evening and pile into one small bus. No one can see anything out of the window, but being the great tour guide that she is Paola perseveres and tells us a little about the town, pointing out a couple of things. She points out a pedestrian road and 15 minute cheese woman screams at the top of her lungs and in Harvey’s ear “WHAT ARE YOU SEEING, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, WHAT AM I MISSING?” Good grief, we were seeing a foot path something we know she isn’t interested in because you have to walk it.
6) We arrive at a gorgeous hotel which doubles as a skilled nursing facility for the geriatric crowd(there were stewed prunes for breakfast). The rooms were awesome and Harvey acted like a kid in heaven because the rooms in Rome were prison cells at best. Dinner was great even though two students, tweedle dee and tweedle dumb fuck, wore their PAJAMAS to dinner. After dinner we wondered around the seaside town of Sorrento enjoying giant beers that were bigger than a Big Gulp and lethal lemoncello.
Awards for the day…
Wii Fit Award—Rocky Beach on Capri
Italian Stereotype—Gianni for being Gianni
Most likely to be smothered by a male rowers tits—Brent
Most likely to only tip 20 cents—Harvey
Delphi heat index—little bus crammed with 45 people and a driver
Internal Heat Regulation—Swimming in the Mediterranean
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Holy Roma!
OK. We have a night of free internet in Patras so we are going to throw a quick blog up here to entertain the masses. Keep in mind that the next posts may be coming from us when we are back in the USA. Here is an update on our stay in Rome.
#1-- Let's start with our hotel. We will call it Il Hotel di Joj. The rooms were insanely small and the beds were so tiny and so close together that we were all prepared to wake up cuddling our roommates. One suggestion thrown out on the table was for Brent to give up his bed and sleep in the closet (which, incidently, smelled like absolute ASS) so that Harvey could have the equivalent of a twin bed to sleep in. When we checked out of the hotel, Harvey wanted to make sure he didn't leave anything under the bed. His way of solving that problem? Simply lifting the beds off the ground with one hand. We will be happy to get home so that we can actually turn over in bed.
#2-- Our local tour guide was named STEFANIA!!!! I mean, could that have gotten better? Actually. It can. Tour guides in Europe typically carry something in their hand that extends above the crowd so that the group can easily follow. In London, it was an umbrella with cupcakes. In Florence, it was a green monkey on a stick. In Rome...... it was the italian version of the Twatter!!! Stefania showed up with a giant pink feather attached to a stick. Harvey and Karen almost died when they saw it. AND THEN, when describing a statue in the Vatican Museum, Stefania used the term "fecundity." Harvey and Karen almost pissed themselves. Photos of Stefania and the twatter to come.
#3-- Do we all remember the 15 minute lady from the last post? Well, she is continuing to be a piece of work on a daily basis. Evidently 15 minute lady is allergic to cheese. How do we know this? Because in Rome, she began screeching across the hills to our tour guide, "PAOLA?!?!?!?!?! DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW I CAN'T HAVE CHEESE????? NO CHEESE! NO CHEESE!!!!!" It should be noted that all of the people at these restaurants have spoken at least enough english to understand someone calmly stating "I can't have any cheese on this dish." She has now adopted a hand motion consisting of covering her entire plate with both hands and shaking them violently should anyone come by with a dish of parmesean cheese.
#4-- While on our walking tour of Rome, we had to have these whisper guide systems. These guides connect each person to the tour guide and help everyone stay together and get their learn on. What they also do is transmit private conversations between the tour guide and other members of the group from 100 ft away. In this case it was Stefania being unsympathetic to Princess and her mother, so clearly we loved every delicious second of eavesdropping.
#5-- Our dinner the last night in Il Hotel di Joj was a vast cornicopia of random food. The menu consisted of lasagna as an appetizer, then turkey with french fries and salad as the entree, and tiramasu for dessert. Maybe they needed to clean out the freezer??
Rome's Awards--
The "Boot and Rally" Award: To Paola for vomiting on the Metro, on the street corner, and in her hotel room the first afternoon and still being at breakfast at 7am. Kudos to you, Paola!
The "Hills" Award: To the 3 girls who are having a feud to rival LC and Heidi. We had to have a come to Jesus with them in Rome. Good times!
The "Customer Service" Award: To the clerk at the supermarket for having the nastiest attitude this side of France.
The "Outside Observer" Award: To Joy, Clare's sister-in-law, for seeing the group in action and describing the group as full of "special people."
Delphi Heat Index-- The city bus we took from the Pantheon to Vatican City.
Internal Heat Regulation Award-- The crossbreeze at the Vatican Museum which Karen described as a religious experience.
#1-- Let's start with our hotel. We will call it Il Hotel di Joj. The rooms were insanely small and the beds were so tiny and so close together that we were all prepared to wake up cuddling our roommates. One suggestion thrown out on the table was for Brent to give up his bed and sleep in the closet (which, incidently, smelled like absolute ASS) so that Harvey could have the equivalent of a twin bed to sleep in. When we checked out of the hotel, Harvey wanted to make sure he didn't leave anything under the bed. His way of solving that problem? Simply lifting the beds off the ground with one hand. We will be happy to get home so that we can actually turn over in bed.
#2-- Our local tour guide was named STEFANIA!!!! I mean, could that have gotten better? Actually. It can. Tour guides in Europe typically carry something in their hand that extends above the crowd so that the group can easily follow. In London, it was an umbrella with cupcakes. In Florence, it was a green monkey on a stick. In Rome...... it was the italian version of the Twatter!!! Stefania showed up with a giant pink feather attached to a stick. Harvey and Karen almost died when they saw it. AND THEN, when describing a statue in the Vatican Museum, Stefania used the term "fecundity." Harvey and Karen almost pissed themselves. Photos of Stefania and the twatter to come.
#3-- Do we all remember the 15 minute lady from the last post? Well, she is continuing to be a piece of work on a daily basis. Evidently 15 minute lady is allergic to cheese. How do we know this? Because in Rome, she began screeching across the hills to our tour guide, "PAOLA?!?!?!?!?! DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW I CAN'T HAVE CHEESE????? NO CHEESE! NO CHEESE!!!!!" It should be noted that all of the people at these restaurants have spoken at least enough english to understand someone calmly stating "I can't have any cheese on this dish." She has now adopted a hand motion consisting of covering her entire plate with both hands and shaking them violently should anyone come by with a dish of parmesean cheese.
#4-- While on our walking tour of Rome, we had to have these whisper guide systems. These guides connect each person to the tour guide and help everyone stay together and get their learn on. What they also do is transmit private conversations between the tour guide and other members of the group from 100 ft away. In this case it was Stefania being unsympathetic to Princess and her mother, so clearly we loved every delicious second of eavesdropping.
#5-- Our dinner the last night in Il Hotel di Joj was a vast cornicopia of random food. The menu consisted of lasagna as an appetizer, then turkey with french fries and salad as the entree, and tiramasu for dessert. Maybe they needed to clean out the freezer??
Rome's Awards--
The "Boot and Rally" Award: To Paola for vomiting on the Metro, on the street corner, and in her hotel room the first afternoon and still being at breakfast at 7am. Kudos to you, Paola!
The "Hills" Award: To the 3 girls who are having a feud to rival LC and Heidi. We had to have a come to Jesus with them in Rome. Good times!
The "Customer Service" Award: To the clerk at the supermarket for having the nastiest attitude this side of France.
The "Outside Observer" Award: To Joy, Clare's sister-in-law, for seeing the group in action and describing the group as full of "special people."
Delphi Heat Index-- The city bus we took from the Pantheon to Vatican City.
Internal Heat Regulation Award-- The crossbreeze at the Vatican Museum which Karen described as a religious experience.
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