1) Harvey had to fabreeze the room because it was so funky fresh. He wanted to fabreeze the entire hotel, but didn’t know how to ask permission in Greek.
2) It was so hot in the room that Karen had to sleep with no bed sheet. Clare was sleeping comfortably with a blanket only one inch away from Karen’s bed.
3) We are living in a residential neighborhood with nothing to do, as evidenced by the chaperones walk around the hotel for one hour! They came back with nothing and no new information. After dinner some of us took a metro into town. Everyone else stayed at the hotel to watch Pretty Woman. Brent stayed back to do laundry…we don’t want him smelling up the 767 on the way home.
4) At dinner Paola, introduced the menu by listing each item by name and a “it has no cheese” post script. She was adamant that each item had no cheese. THANK GOD IN HEAVEN!! Clare picked out our table so that we could be close to regular people. Regular people are people who are not on this tour. Also, at dinner Brent did his impression of Paola for Paola. She loved it!
5) A parent wanted to know if we were in Senorita Square. Senorita Square was also one of her landmarks in Florence. No where on this trip, or in any of these countries has their been a Senorita Square. Try Mexico City dumbass.
6) We went to the Acropolis today. Snaps for the Parthenon, Iccy and Cally! The students continued to piss everyone off, by complaining about the climb up to the oldest freaking thing we have seen on the tour. Everyone is clearly ready to go home. We spent the afternoon on our own in the Plaka. The Plaka was full of shopping and fun. However, some people had to desperately get to the HARD ROCK CAFÉ. They stormed Paola with questions about seeing this all important part of Greek history and culture. I mean really we are getting ready to home tomorrow, they definitely need a hamburger today…don’t you agree! Some of us saw the changing of the guard, Harvey was freaked out by the birds, Brent is not funny anymore because he is ready to leave, Karen’s white pants are dirty and will never be clean again, and Clare can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow while we get up at 3:00 in the morning and she stays behind form more of her adventures.
Award—
Delphi Heat Index—Karen’s Hat that sucker is hot
Internal Heat Regulation—The breeze in Greece which Harvey believes is a gift from Athena herself for his imparting wisdom on these children
THANKS FOR KEEPING UP WITH US! We hope you enjoyed it, see you in the states!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Just ask the oracle...who makes predictions by smelling sulfur vapors, drinking tainted water, and touching the belly button of the earth
1) The road to Delphi was curvy and sickening. Good thing no one was drunk this morning. However, since we were heading up to the famous Delphic Oracle we decided we would answer no more questions on the trip. All were now to be referred to the oracle. This is especially true for Karen’s girls. One had to ask her, “Karen, do you think I should go to the bathroom?” To which Karen replied, “That is something you are going to have to figure out yourself.”
2) For last hour of the trip to Delphi, Harvey was wishing death on a parent. He really hated her for some reason. He had to change his mind because he figured a death at this point on the tour would just complicate things. She can live, but so can his hatred.
3) Delphi was actually cool, even though Harvey had built it up to be the hottest place on earth. Harvey actually got a chill, he was glad to be in the good company of Clare who has also been getting chills, wrapping up in scarves, and secretly turning up the heat in she and Karen’s room.
4) In addition to our group there were some Japanese geriatrics hiking up to the fifth level of Delphi. This was optional, but most of our kids made the hike. Karen got fired up when a couple of things happened:
a. The runners on our trip complained about a stroll up a mountain
b. The kids stated that these Japanese people were kicking our ass up this hill.
c. Karen had to take a moment to reflect on the idea that Japanese people clearly have priorities that we don’t have…like being fit and not watching “The Hills.”
Delphi Heat Index—Not Delphi, it was actually the bus with AC vents the size of a penny
Internal Heat Regulation—The clouds at Delphi
Happy Moment—The view from the restaurant at lunch!
Smelly Cat Award—the stray cats scattered all around the grounds. Again these kids would rather take pictures of strays than 6th century relics.
2) For last hour of the trip to Delphi, Harvey was wishing death on a parent. He really hated her for some reason. He had to change his mind because he figured a death at this point on the tour would just complicate things. She can live, but so can his hatred.
3) Delphi was actually cool, even though Harvey had built it up to be the hottest place on earth. Harvey actually got a chill, he was glad to be in the good company of Clare who has also been getting chills, wrapping up in scarves, and secretly turning up the heat in she and Karen’s room.
4) In addition to our group there were some Japanese geriatrics hiking up to the fifth level of Delphi. This was optional, but most of our kids made the hike. Karen got fired up when a couple of things happened:
a. The runners on our trip complained about a stroll up a mountain
b. The kids stated that these Japanese people were kicking our ass up this hill.
c. Karen had to take a moment to reflect on the idea that Japanese people clearly have priorities that we don’t have…like being fit and not watching “The Hills.”
Delphi Heat Index—Not Delphi, it was actually the bus with AC vents the size of a penny
Internal Heat Regulation—The clouds at Delphi
Happy Moment—The view from the restaurant at lunch!
Smelly Cat Award—the stray cats scattered all around the grounds. Again these kids would rather take pictures of strays than 6th century relics.
Patras
-- We lost a Passport, we finally found it. The girl didn’t cry because of the lost passport and HARVEY WAS PISSED.
--A special parent asked the staff at a restaurant what EVERY SINGLE item was and if it had cheese. It was vanilla ice cream…of course it had cheese.
--The students went apeshit over some soccer players. Oh, by the way they were deaf soccer players, but one young lady informed Clare that everyone could speak the international language of love.
--At the request of the chaperones, Paola had to address PJs at meals. She is patient and simply stated, “In Europe it is not really customary to wear your pajamas at dinner.” Way to go team! Let’s impress everyone by showing them that Americans will wear anything anywhere!
--The hotel was beautiful and the beach was too!
--A special parent asked the staff at a restaurant what EVERY SINGLE item was and if it had cheese. It was vanilla ice cream…of course it had cheese.
--The students went apeshit over some soccer players. Oh, by the way they were deaf soccer players, but one young lady informed Clare that everyone could speak the international language of love.
--At the request of the chaperones, Paola had to address PJs at meals. She is patient and simply stated, “In Europe it is not really customary to wear your pajamas at dinner.” Way to go team! Let’s impress everyone by showing them that Americans will wear anything anywhere!
--The hotel was beautiful and the beach was too!
Superfast Ferry to Greece...Not so super fast, but full of adventure
When we mentioned the need to take notes for the blog about the ferry, Clare sighed “Oh Jesus.” That is how fantastic the experience on board was!
1) The kids got palatial estates, and the adults got human dioramas. The human dioramas had thin walls, ladders for bunk beds, and toilets that doubled as shower benches.
2) The ferry did have a “pool,” we use the word pool very loosely because it was more like a mop bucket. No one could dive in because you would die(from the head trama or the ebola virus). There were some dirty, skuzzy, trashy people on board and no one got in… that is how bad it was.
3) Dinner consisted of noodles and ragu. When our no cheese friend saw parmesan within two feet of her she screamed “CAN SOMEONE SPEAK GREEK SO THAT THEY CAN TELL THEM NO CHEESE FOR ME?” Harvey really wanted to tell her that the way to ask for no cheese in Greek is to say “IMA FUCKINGRE TARD,” but instead he said they can speak English. Later at dinner she demanded to know where the sun was going to set. Harvey needed a gun, not a compass!
4) Speaking of sunsets…another parent wanted to take a picture of that elusive sunset(a picture from a boat that could be sinking in one hour and is full of cheap, smelly travelers). Brent told here that she could walk around the perimeter of the entire boat and certainly she would find it. She asked “Do you want to see the moon?” She threatened to moon him and show him the “Sea of the tranquility that flows right down the middle” of her own personal moon. WHAT?? Brent went into the fetal position and wanted his mom. That was not an option on board the good ship fuck it up so, Brent lost it and had to drink.
5) JOJO Discotheque! A restaurant transforms itself into a club at night. A club for anyone, but really for the teenagers on board who want to dance, drink, and get observed by nasty men with tight, tight jeans. Our students joined in the fun and this is what ensued.
a. Many need that first drink of their lives. Being the smartest students at our school they jumped head first into debauchery by pre partying with CHEAP VODKA in the room and following that with TEQUILA SUNRISE!
b. We had two children puke, four children cry, two children tattle tale, and two children with NASTY hangovers.
c. We had to close down shop 15 minutes early because two 35 plus sketchy guys got in a bar brawl.
d. When went to do room checks we couldn’t find two children. They were found on deck with some Australian students who decided to pack beer bongs instead of sleeping bags. They were trying to convince our students to bong beers, do drugs, and have sex. Also on deck were children from Canada getting hammered with their teachers and Contiki tours 18-35 crowd. The Contiki folks were taking the drunk tank tour all around Europe.
e. Back in the rooms, the beds were vibrating because of the boat. We are sure that was special for the 85 pound drunk girls trying to sleep and not puke!
Award
Best Meal of the trip—Superfast Ferry Breakfast—a croissant and hard boiled egg, and on the side a roll!
Best Décor—The non-smoking session flanked by two smoking sections.
1) The kids got palatial estates, and the adults got human dioramas. The human dioramas had thin walls, ladders for bunk beds, and toilets that doubled as shower benches.
2) The ferry did have a “pool,” we use the word pool very loosely because it was more like a mop bucket. No one could dive in because you would die(from the head trama or the ebola virus). There were some dirty, skuzzy, trashy people on board and no one got in… that is how bad it was.
3) Dinner consisted of noodles and ragu. When our no cheese friend saw parmesan within two feet of her she screamed “CAN SOMEONE SPEAK GREEK SO THAT THEY CAN TELL THEM NO CHEESE FOR ME?” Harvey really wanted to tell her that the way to ask for no cheese in Greek is to say “IMA FUCKINGRE TARD,” but instead he said they can speak English. Later at dinner she demanded to know where the sun was going to set. Harvey needed a gun, not a compass!
4) Speaking of sunsets…another parent wanted to take a picture of that elusive sunset(a picture from a boat that could be sinking in one hour and is full of cheap, smelly travelers). Brent told here that she could walk around the perimeter of the entire boat and certainly she would find it. She asked “Do you want to see the moon?” She threatened to moon him and show him the “Sea of the tranquility that flows right down the middle” of her own personal moon. WHAT?? Brent went into the fetal position and wanted his mom. That was not an option on board the good ship fuck it up so, Brent lost it and had to drink.
5) JOJO Discotheque! A restaurant transforms itself into a club at night. A club for anyone, but really for the teenagers on board who want to dance, drink, and get observed by nasty men with tight, tight jeans. Our students joined in the fun and this is what ensued.
a. Many need that first drink of their lives. Being the smartest students at our school they jumped head first into debauchery by pre partying with CHEAP VODKA in the room and following that with TEQUILA SUNRISE!
b. We had two children puke, four children cry, two children tattle tale, and two children with NASTY hangovers.
c. We had to close down shop 15 minutes early because two 35 plus sketchy guys got in a bar brawl.
d. When went to do room checks we couldn’t find two children. They were found on deck with some Australian students who decided to pack beer bongs instead of sleeping bags. They were trying to convince our students to bong beers, do drugs, and have sex. Also on deck were children from Canada getting hammered with their teachers and Contiki tours 18-35 crowd. The Contiki folks were taking the drunk tank tour all around Europe.
e. Back in the rooms, the beds were vibrating because of the boat. We are sure that was special for the 85 pound drunk girls trying to sleep and not puke!
Award
Best Meal of the trip—Superfast Ferry Breakfast—a croissant and hard boiled egg, and on the side a roll!
Best Décor—The non-smoking session flanked by two smoking sections.
Pompeii--ONE THING MORE!
Let’s just start this off by saying that we got the XXX tour of the grounds. Gianni in true Italian style met us with his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his graying chest hair, his thick accent, ball hugging white pants, and misogynistic overtones.
1) Harvey gets things started off right at breakfast by yelling at a student for asking questions and then doing whatever the hell she wants(he ruins her day, he doesn’t care). Harvey continues a great breakfast by suggesting that Karen must write a grant to come back to this hotel to help the geriatric crowd.
2) We get to Pompeii and learn so much…
a. Vomitorium—the citizens of Pompeii wanted to impress each other so at dinner they would often eat until they were full and then puke it up to eat some more. They also laid down to eat.
b. Let’s Get It Started—Often after vomiting and eating Gianni reported that the orgies could just start write there at the dinner table. Very forward thinking Romans.
c. Get in the Corner—One the first night of a Roman Marriage you might think these people needed to consummate their love…WRONG. Gianni has learned that Roman men would bring their new 14 year old wives home and put them in the corner. Once in the corner a man would tell the wife about all of her chores, then he would go have sex with his young male boy toy. Mazel Tov!
d. Pompeii has He/Shes—Gianni constantly referred to the prostitution ring going on in Pompeii. Some had pimps, some didn’t. Their calling card was a howl in the streets and Gianni really wanted to emphasize that the prostitutes came in the form of both genders…he and she. Whatever you like. All of the citizens wanted to look good so they would wax themselves head to toe for the he/she prostitutes so that they would like NICE. Gianni really needed to emphasize that these people wanted to look nice NOT handsome.
e. PHALLIC SYMBOLS—There are more penises in Pompeii and on our tour than there are in all of this years Playgirl Magazines. There phallic symbols made of stone, paint, and plaster. Penises could be used as arrows to point you towards the red light district. Dicks were given as gifts. You would never, ever buy a penis for yourself. Gianni really needed to impress upon us the idea that the bigger the penis the better. I mean who didn’t know that. I’m sure his wife is happy because his ball huggers left nothing to the imagination. Gianni also needed to take a moment to look out for our students and he talked to us like he talked to his own kids. What did he tell the students? USE CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Romans invented condoms coming in all shapes and sizes and mediums. The condom material of choice…cow intestines.
f. A visit to the brothel was great. The brothel was set up like McDonalds you just look at the pictures and point at what you wanted. We walked in and saw paintings of spankings, tickling, butt sex and more! The students either loved it or hated it. Some hightailed it out of there, meanwhile others took pictures, drew sketches, and made notes about positions of choice in the ancient city. Upon exiting the brothel we heard the following from the kids:
i. “That looks complicated”
ii. “I didn’t know that was possible”
iii. “Is that one getting spanked?”
iv. “I see my future(she was talking about archaeology, but was looking at fresco porn.)”
Awards
International Ambassador Award—Clare, who ran into people she new at Pompeii
Stereotype Award—Antonio, our driver. He was sporting an Italian Jerry Curl, an open shirt, wild chest hair, and gold chain.
Delphi Heat Index—ALL OF POMPEII—hotter than pyroclastic flow(not lava)
Internal Heat regulation—Italian Slushies!!
1) Harvey gets things started off right at breakfast by yelling at a student for asking questions and then doing whatever the hell she wants(he ruins her day, he doesn’t care). Harvey continues a great breakfast by suggesting that Karen must write a grant to come back to this hotel to help the geriatric crowd.
2) We get to Pompeii and learn so much…
a. Vomitorium—the citizens of Pompeii wanted to impress each other so at dinner they would often eat until they were full and then puke it up to eat some more. They also laid down to eat.
b. Let’s Get It Started—Often after vomiting and eating Gianni reported that the orgies could just start write there at the dinner table. Very forward thinking Romans.
c. Get in the Corner—One the first night of a Roman Marriage you might think these people needed to consummate their love…WRONG. Gianni has learned that Roman men would bring their new 14 year old wives home and put them in the corner. Once in the corner a man would tell the wife about all of her chores, then he would go have sex with his young male boy toy. Mazel Tov!
d. Pompeii has He/Shes—Gianni constantly referred to the prostitution ring going on in Pompeii. Some had pimps, some didn’t. Their calling card was a howl in the streets and Gianni really wanted to emphasize that the prostitutes came in the form of both genders…he and she. Whatever you like. All of the citizens wanted to look good so they would wax themselves head to toe for the he/she prostitutes so that they would like NICE. Gianni really needed to emphasize that these people wanted to look nice NOT handsome.
e. PHALLIC SYMBOLS—There are more penises in Pompeii and on our tour than there are in all of this years Playgirl Magazines. There phallic symbols made of stone, paint, and plaster. Penises could be used as arrows to point you towards the red light district. Dicks were given as gifts. You would never, ever buy a penis for yourself. Gianni really needed to impress upon us the idea that the bigger the penis the better. I mean who didn’t know that. I’m sure his wife is happy because his ball huggers left nothing to the imagination. Gianni also needed to take a moment to look out for our students and he talked to us like he talked to his own kids. What did he tell the students? USE CONDOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Romans invented condoms coming in all shapes and sizes and mediums. The condom material of choice…cow intestines.
f. A visit to the brothel was great. The brothel was set up like McDonalds you just look at the pictures and point at what you wanted. We walked in and saw paintings of spankings, tickling, butt sex and more! The students either loved it or hated it. Some hightailed it out of there, meanwhile others took pictures, drew sketches, and made notes about positions of choice in the ancient city. Upon exiting the brothel we heard the following from the kids:
i. “That looks complicated”
ii. “I didn’t know that was possible”
iii. “Is that one getting spanked?”
iv. “I see my future(she was talking about archaeology, but was looking at fresco porn.)”
Awards
International Ambassador Award—Clare, who ran into people she new at Pompeii
Stereotype Award—Antonio, our driver. He was sporting an Italian Jerry Curl, an open shirt, wild chest hair, and gold chain.
Delphi Heat Index—ALL OF POMPEII—hotter than pyroclastic flow(not lava)
Internal Heat regulation—Italian Slushies!!
Capri...we didn't see Mariah Carey but...
1)We left Rome to visit Capri and had to leave from the port of Naples where we met our tour guide Gianni. Gianni met us clad in purple pants and with his phone number on stickers that he placed on the girls boobs, he had to make sure they were on nice and tight. As we boarded the ferry almost all of the seats were taken or covered with stuff. Most of the students picked up on the international language of signs, eyebrow raising, and pointing to empty seats to see if they could sit there, but(and isn’t there ALWAYS a but) one of the bitchy, lazy parents(the 15 minute/no cheese lady), SCREAMED across the ferry to Karen, “Can you find Paola so that she can ask these people if these seats are taken.” I mean the dumb bitch is half way across the world and couldn’t muster any means of figuring this out for herself. Karen told her to ask if the seats were occupied, and in a fit of rage and disappointment in humanity Harvey stomped off downstairs for a moment of Zen away from the f-tards.
2) Once on Capri, we were off to the Blue Grotto, a sea cave that is illuminated by mineral deposits. We traveled out in the sea on a large boat, and had to transfer to little three or four person boats to get into the Grotto. Once in these boats you had to lie down to get into the cave, or you would face plant into the walls. The boat rowers, who Harvey thinks are the equivalent of poor white trash, told everyone to lie down in Clare’s boat and he to had to lie down as well. He leans back into the breasts of one of parents and swishes his head around in that special area and says “Mmmmmmm…squishy!” Meanwhile in Harvey and Karen’s boat, Harvey is being cursed slam out for not tipping him enough, Clare was asked to skinny dip, and Brent had a special experience of his own…see awards below.
FYI— BIMBI is the thickest, greasiest, and most viscous sunscreen of all time. Karen purchased this important item in Rome knowing she needed some more protection from the sun. This is what you need to know in order to appreciate #3.
3) Bimbi has done a miracolus job keeping Karen cancer free, but it has also ellicted a few funny converstation.s Here is the dialogue exchange in preparation for Capri…
Clare: I hope we go swimming because I need maximum skin to water contact.
Karen: Well, I need maximum skin to Bimbi contact.
4) Harvey stays at the top of Capri to explore. While Clare, Brent, and Karen go down to the shore to swim with the kids. When Harvey returns from a relaxing afternoon of shopping, granitas, and shade he walks into a shit storm of Capritian proportions. There were three children bleeding from beach rock incidents, Brent and a student rescued a small child, Brent’s towel was sacrificed to become a tourniquet for one of the rock incidents, girls were losing their tops because they have no idea how big there breasts are, super mom left all of the kids stuff(passports included) alone on the beach, and Brent’s sunglasses were ruined when one of these kids stomped them like no tomorrow.
5) We ferry off to the town of Sorrento for the evening and pile into one small bus. No one can see anything out of the window, but being the great tour guide that she is Paola perseveres and tells us a little about the town, pointing out a couple of things. She points out a pedestrian road and 15 minute cheese woman screams at the top of her lungs and in Harvey’s ear “WHAT ARE YOU SEEING, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, WHAT AM I MISSING?” Good grief, we were seeing a foot path something we know she isn’t interested in because you have to walk it.
6) We arrive at a gorgeous hotel which doubles as a skilled nursing facility for the geriatric crowd(there were stewed prunes for breakfast). The rooms were awesome and Harvey acted like a kid in heaven because the rooms in Rome were prison cells at best. Dinner was great even though two students, tweedle dee and tweedle dumb fuck, wore their PAJAMAS to dinner. After dinner we wondered around the seaside town of Sorrento enjoying giant beers that were bigger than a Big Gulp and lethal lemoncello.
Awards for the day…
Wii Fit Award—Rocky Beach on Capri
Italian Stereotype—Gianni for being Gianni
Most likely to be smothered by a male rowers tits—Brent
Most likely to only tip 20 cents—Harvey
Delphi heat index—little bus crammed with 45 people and a driver
Internal Heat Regulation—Swimming in the Mediterranean
2) Once on Capri, we were off to the Blue Grotto, a sea cave that is illuminated by mineral deposits. We traveled out in the sea on a large boat, and had to transfer to little three or four person boats to get into the Grotto. Once in these boats you had to lie down to get into the cave, or you would face plant into the walls. The boat rowers, who Harvey thinks are the equivalent of poor white trash, told everyone to lie down in Clare’s boat and he to had to lie down as well. He leans back into the breasts of one of parents and swishes his head around in that special area and says “Mmmmmmm…squishy!” Meanwhile in Harvey and Karen’s boat, Harvey is being cursed slam out for not tipping him enough, Clare was asked to skinny dip, and Brent had a special experience of his own…see awards below.
FYI— BIMBI is the thickest, greasiest, and most viscous sunscreen of all time. Karen purchased this important item in Rome knowing she needed some more protection from the sun. This is what you need to know in order to appreciate #3.
3) Bimbi has done a miracolus job keeping Karen cancer free, but it has also ellicted a few funny converstation.s Here is the dialogue exchange in preparation for Capri…
Clare: I hope we go swimming because I need maximum skin to water contact.
Karen: Well, I need maximum skin to Bimbi contact.
4) Harvey stays at the top of Capri to explore. While Clare, Brent, and Karen go down to the shore to swim with the kids. When Harvey returns from a relaxing afternoon of shopping, granitas, and shade he walks into a shit storm of Capritian proportions. There were three children bleeding from beach rock incidents, Brent and a student rescued a small child, Brent’s towel was sacrificed to become a tourniquet for one of the rock incidents, girls were losing their tops because they have no idea how big there breasts are, super mom left all of the kids stuff(passports included) alone on the beach, and Brent’s sunglasses were ruined when one of these kids stomped them like no tomorrow.
5) We ferry off to the town of Sorrento for the evening and pile into one small bus. No one can see anything out of the window, but being the great tour guide that she is Paola perseveres and tells us a little about the town, pointing out a couple of things. She points out a pedestrian road and 15 minute cheese woman screams at the top of her lungs and in Harvey’s ear “WHAT ARE YOU SEEING, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, WHAT AM I MISSING?” Good grief, we were seeing a foot path something we know she isn’t interested in because you have to walk it.
6) We arrive at a gorgeous hotel which doubles as a skilled nursing facility for the geriatric crowd(there were stewed prunes for breakfast). The rooms were awesome and Harvey acted like a kid in heaven because the rooms in Rome were prison cells at best. Dinner was great even though two students, tweedle dee and tweedle dumb fuck, wore their PAJAMAS to dinner. After dinner we wondered around the seaside town of Sorrento enjoying giant beers that were bigger than a Big Gulp and lethal lemoncello.
Awards for the day…
Wii Fit Award—Rocky Beach on Capri
Italian Stereotype—Gianni for being Gianni
Most likely to be smothered by a male rowers tits—Brent
Most likely to only tip 20 cents—Harvey
Delphi heat index—little bus crammed with 45 people and a driver
Internal Heat Regulation—Swimming in the Mediterranean
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Holy Roma!
OK. We have a night of free internet in Patras so we are going to throw a quick blog up here to entertain the masses. Keep in mind that the next posts may be coming from us when we are back in the USA. Here is an update on our stay in Rome.
#1-- Let's start with our hotel. We will call it Il Hotel di Joj. The rooms were insanely small and the beds were so tiny and so close together that we were all prepared to wake up cuddling our roommates. One suggestion thrown out on the table was for Brent to give up his bed and sleep in the closet (which, incidently, smelled like absolute ASS) so that Harvey could have the equivalent of a twin bed to sleep in. When we checked out of the hotel, Harvey wanted to make sure he didn't leave anything under the bed. His way of solving that problem? Simply lifting the beds off the ground with one hand. We will be happy to get home so that we can actually turn over in bed.
#2-- Our local tour guide was named STEFANIA!!!! I mean, could that have gotten better? Actually. It can. Tour guides in Europe typically carry something in their hand that extends above the crowd so that the group can easily follow. In London, it was an umbrella with cupcakes. In Florence, it was a green monkey on a stick. In Rome...... it was the italian version of the Twatter!!! Stefania showed up with a giant pink feather attached to a stick. Harvey and Karen almost died when they saw it. AND THEN, when describing a statue in the Vatican Museum, Stefania used the term "fecundity." Harvey and Karen almost pissed themselves. Photos of Stefania and the twatter to come.
#3-- Do we all remember the 15 minute lady from the last post? Well, she is continuing to be a piece of work on a daily basis. Evidently 15 minute lady is allergic to cheese. How do we know this? Because in Rome, she began screeching across the hills to our tour guide, "PAOLA?!?!?!?!?! DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW I CAN'T HAVE CHEESE????? NO CHEESE! NO CHEESE!!!!!" It should be noted that all of the people at these restaurants have spoken at least enough english to understand someone calmly stating "I can't have any cheese on this dish." She has now adopted a hand motion consisting of covering her entire plate with both hands and shaking them violently should anyone come by with a dish of parmesean cheese.
#4-- While on our walking tour of Rome, we had to have these whisper guide systems. These guides connect each person to the tour guide and help everyone stay together and get their learn on. What they also do is transmit private conversations between the tour guide and other members of the group from 100 ft away. In this case it was Stefania being unsympathetic to Princess and her mother, so clearly we loved every delicious second of eavesdropping.
#5-- Our dinner the last night in Il Hotel di Joj was a vast cornicopia of random food. The menu consisted of lasagna as an appetizer, then turkey with french fries and salad as the entree, and tiramasu for dessert. Maybe they needed to clean out the freezer??
Rome's Awards--
The "Boot and Rally" Award: To Paola for vomiting on the Metro, on the street corner, and in her hotel room the first afternoon and still being at breakfast at 7am. Kudos to you, Paola!
The "Hills" Award: To the 3 girls who are having a feud to rival LC and Heidi. We had to have a come to Jesus with them in Rome. Good times!
The "Customer Service" Award: To the clerk at the supermarket for having the nastiest attitude this side of France.
The "Outside Observer" Award: To Joy, Clare's sister-in-law, for seeing the group in action and describing the group as full of "special people."
Delphi Heat Index-- The city bus we took from the Pantheon to Vatican City.
Internal Heat Regulation Award-- The crossbreeze at the Vatican Museum which Karen described as a religious experience.
#1-- Let's start with our hotel. We will call it Il Hotel di Joj. The rooms were insanely small and the beds were so tiny and so close together that we were all prepared to wake up cuddling our roommates. One suggestion thrown out on the table was for Brent to give up his bed and sleep in the closet (which, incidently, smelled like absolute ASS) so that Harvey could have the equivalent of a twin bed to sleep in. When we checked out of the hotel, Harvey wanted to make sure he didn't leave anything under the bed. His way of solving that problem? Simply lifting the beds off the ground with one hand. We will be happy to get home so that we can actually turn over in bed.
#2-- Our local tour guide was named STEFANIA!!!! I mean, could that have gotten better? Actually. It can. Tour guides in Europe typically carry something in their hand that extends above the crowd so that the group can easily follow. In London, it was an umbrella with cupcakes. In Florence, it was a green monkey on a stick. In Rome...... it was the italian version of the Twatter!!! Stefania showed up with a giant pink feather attached to a stick. Harvey and Karen almost died when they saw it. AND THEN, when describing a statue in the Vatican Museum, Stefania used the term "fecundity." Harvey and Karen almost pissed themselves. Photos of Stefania and the twatter to come.
#3-- Do we all remember the 15 minute lady from the last post? Well, she is continuing to be a piece of work on a daily basis. Evidently 15 minute lady is allergic to cheese. How do we know this? Because in Rome, she began screeching across the hills to our tour guide, "PAOLA?!?!?!?!?! DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW I CAN'T HAVE CHEESE????? NO CHEESE! NO CHEESE!!!!!" It should be noted that all of the people at these restaurants have spoken at least enough english to understand someone calmly stating "I can't have any cheese on this dish." She has now adopted a hand motion consisting of covering her entire plate with both hands and shaking them violently should anyone come by with a dish of parmesean cheese.
#4-- While on our walking tour of Rome, we had to have these whisper guide systems. These guides connect each person to the tour guide and help everyone stay together and get their learn on. What they also do is transmit private conversations between the tour guide and other members of the group from 100 ft away. In this case it was Stefania being unsympathetic to Princess and her mother, so clearly we loved every delicious second of eavesdropping.
#5-- Our dinner the last night in Il Hotel di Joj was a vast cornicopia of random food. The menu consisted of lasagna as an appetizer, then turkey with french fries and salad as the entree, and tiramasu for dessert. Maybe they needed to clean out the freezer??
Rome's Awards--
The "Boot and Rally" Award: To Paola for vomiting on the Metro, on the street corner, and in her hotel room the first afternoon and still being at breakfast at 7am. Kudos to you, Paola!
The "Hills" Award: To the 3 girls who are having a feud to rival LC and Heidi. We had to have a come to Jesus with them in Rome. Good times!
The "Customer Service" Award: To the clerk at the supermarket for having the nastiest attitude this side of France.
The "Outside Observer" Award: To Joy, Clare's sister-in-law, for seeing the group in action and describing the group as full of "special people."
Delphi Heat Index-- The city bus we took from the Pantheon to Vatican City.
Internal Heat Regulation Award-- The crossbreeze at the Vatican Museum which Karen described as a religious experience.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Where in the world are Harvey's crazy kids?
It has been a while so here you go…
#1—The day that Shit attacked.
A. We go to the Eiffel tower and what happens on the way? Daddy dumb-dumb gets pickpocketed. He spends the rest of the day working that out and getting nasty looks from his wife.
B. Brent and Karen go to Montmarte, have a wonderful time and then Princess falls and hurts her ankle. Her mom rushes to her aide, Karen checks out the situation and gives her 4 Advil.
C. Brandy, a student who our tour guide has suggested has a weird name, leans against the alarm in the subway and the French Police come to check out the scene. Courtland also gets caught in the turnstile, Karen gets him pushed through, and they all almost get arrested.
D.Clare and Harvey don’t ask Mom of Princess how the girl is doing, because they could tell and had talked to Karen, Mom proceeds to explain to Harvey that he and Clare are horrible, Harvey and she have words in the Hard Rock Café. Paula has to calm Harvey down…A LOT.
#2—Off to the Louvre…
A. Injured girl gets a wheelchair and gets a front row seat at the Mona Lisa. She was surrounded by Asain people of all varieties, who probably thought she was a celebrity because she got so close.(Her mom actually pushed her under the barrier).
B. Harvey gave some great Art History lessons.
C. Remember…don’t sit down in the Louvre Mall you will be asked to get up.
D. We felt like cattle.
#3. Beau-JoJo Airport
We left Paris to go the airport. Harvey thought we were going to the airport in Paris. When he woke from his two hour nap, he found the bus in the middle of nowhere. Ryanair, our low cost carrier, makes money by putting its terminals in semi-out of the way locations. One student got through security with a cake cutter…safety first. Karen thought that a chicken might walk by and sit in an empty seat. The seats were made of plastic and had tray table locks, but no tray tables. The flight attendants sold the water, soda, and snacks, but also sold lottery scratch off tickets. There accounting system consisted of generic red solo cups. The plane literally took off and landed in fields of bunnies.
#4..Florence
The Entourage of three ladies with ZERO personality did not leave the hotel on the ONE day we have in Florence, and they could not have cared less.
We learned from our tour guide, Alessandro, today that a) everything created by Michaelangelo was a miracle and that b) everything outside is fake. Evidently, all sculptural and architechtural adornments are housed in a museum behind the Duomo. We figured the fakes must be good fakes so we didn’t bother visiting the real counterparts.
We finish a walking tour and are surrounded by hundreds of cafes in the middle of this pedestrian city and one parent asks, “Where can we find some water.” Harvey wanted to tell that you have to climb the 493 steps of the Duomo to get water, but the tour guide told her, “I don’t know, a café, any café, a café, any café.” The same parent had previously asked “How long is that walk” answer “15 minutes” her next question “How long will that take?” WHAT THE FUCK!!!! (When we recounted these stories with Paula, she asked if this lady was on drugs??)
We saw David and he is uncircumsized, therefore he is not Jewish, therefore this is an artistic piece, NOT an actual storytelling piece.
Speaking of a penis. Harvey and Clare had to put the smack down on some potential (and frankly probable) smelly sex happening between two yucky teenagers.
Here are some awards—
The “F-tard” Award: To the parent who asked all the dumb questions. Seriously. It’s 15 minutes.
The “Red Headed Stranger” Award: To Paola for spontaneously breaking into “On the Road Again” when we got on the bus in Pisa.
The “Homeland Security Code Red” Award: To Paola’s dog who she described thusly, “My dog, she used to be a terrorist. But, she’s giving it up.” We’ll have to take the pooch off the watch list.
The “Realism” Award: To Clare for knowing the value of a euro. After one of the aforementioned yucky teenagers spent 50 euros on a not so great original portrait of herself, we learned that a margarita at the Hard Rock Café cost 10 euro. Brent noted that each margarita was 1/5th of an original portrait. Clare’s realism abounded as she stated, “I’d rather have 5 margaritas.”
The “Best Stereotype” Award: To our local guide, Alessandro, for honestly saying “MAMMA MIA!!!” while using excessive hand gestures.
The Rebecca Danchise Topping Memorial Snack: Nutella and banana crepes.
Hydration Station—the fountain on the Ponte Vecchio.
Delphi Heat Index Award—the hot stone steps we sat on in a piazza today even though they were in the shade.
Internal Heat Regulation Award—Karen and Clare’s air conditioning which was a miracle due to their faith in G-d.
PS. Our darling student with no money or cell phone numbers got her credit cards to work. Now she is charging everything for people to get pocket money. Still no word from mom, dad, or the church secretary.
#1—The day that Shit attacked.
A. We go to the Eiffel tower and what happens on the way? Daddy dumb-dumb gets pickpocketed. He spends the rest of the day working that out and getting nasty looks from his wife.
B. Brent and Karen go to Montmarte, have a wonderful time and then Princess falls and hurts her ankle. Her mom rushes to her aide, Karen checks out the situation and gives her 4 Advil.
C. Brandy, a student who our tour guide has suggested has a weird name, leans against the alarm in the subway and the French Police come to check out the scene. Courtland also gets caught in the turnstile, Karen gets him pushed through, and they all almost get arrested.
D.Clare and Harvey don’t ask Mom of Princess how the girl is doing, because they could tell and had talked to Karen, Mom proceeds to explain to Harvey that he and Clare are horrible, Harvey and she have words in the Hard Rock Café. Paula has to calm Harvey down…A LOT.
#2—Off to the Louvre…
A. Injured girl gets a wheelchair and gets a front row seat at the Mona Lisa. She was surrounded by Asain people of all varieties, who probably thought she was a celebrity because she got so close.(Her mom actually pushed her under the barrier).
B. Harvey gave some great Art History lessons.
C. Remember…don’t sit down in the Louvre Mall you will be asked to get up.
D. We felt like cattle.
#3. Beau-JoJo Airport
We left Paris to go the airport. Harvey thought we were going to the airport in Paris. When he woke from his two hour nap, he found the bus in the middle of nowhere. Ryanair, our low cost carrier, makes money by putting its terminals in semi-out of the way locations. One student got through security with a cake cutter…safety first. Karen thought that a chicken might walk by and sit in an empty seat. The seats were made of plastic and had tray table locks, but no tray tables. The flight attendants sold the water, soda, and snacks, but also sold lottery scratch off tickets. There accounting system consisted of generic red solo cups. The plane literally took off and landed in fields of bunnies.
#4..Florence
The Entourage of three ladies with ZERO personality did not leave the hotel on the ONE day we have in Florence, and they could not have cared less.
We learned from our tour guide, Alessandro, today that a) everything created by Michaelangelo was a miracle and that b) everything outside is fake. Evidently, all sculptural and architechtural adornments are housed in a museum behind the Duomo. We figured the fakes must be good fakes so we didn’t bother visiting the real counterparts.
We finish a walking tour and are surrounded by hundreds of cafes in the middle of this pedestrian city and one parent asks, “Where can we find some water.” Harvey wanted to tell that you have to climb the 493 steps of the Duomo to get water, but the tour guide told her, “I don’t know, a café, any café, a café, any café.” The same parent had previously asked “How long is that walk” answer “15 minutes” her next question “How long will that take?” WHAT THE FUCK!!!! (When we recounted these stories with Paula, she asked if this lady was on drugs??)
We saw David and he is uncircumsized, therefore he is not Jewish, therefore this is an artistic piece, NOT an actual storytelling piece.
Speaking of a penis. Harvey and Clare had to put the smack down on some potential (and frankly probable) smelly sex happening between two yucky teenagers.
Here are some awards—
The “F-tard” Award: To the parent who asked all the dumb questions. Seriously. It’s 15 minutes.
The “Red Headed Stranger” Award: To Paola for spontaneously breaking into “On the Road Again” when we got on the bus in Pisa.
The “Homeland Security Code Red” Award: To Paola’s dog who she described thusly, “My dog, she used to be a terrorist. But, she’s giving it up.” We’ll have to take the pooch off the watch list.
The “Realism” Award: To Clare for knowing the value of a euro. After one of the aforementioned yucky teenagers spent 50 euros on a not so great original portrait of herself, we learned that a margarita at the Hard Rock Café cost 10 euro. Brent noted that each margarita was 1/5th of an original portrait. Clare’s realism abounded as she stated, “I’d rather have 5 margaritas.”
The “Best Stereotype” Award: To our local guide, Alessandro, for honestly saying “MAMMA MIA!!!” while using excessive hand gestures.
The Rebecca Danchise Topping Memorial Snack: Nutella and banana crepes.
Hydration Station—the fountain on the Ponte Vecchio.
Delphi Heat Index Award—the hot stone steps we sat on in a piazza today even though they were in the shade.
Internal Heat Regulation Award—Karen and Clare’s air conditioning which was a miracle due to their faith in G-d.
PS. Our darling student with no money or cell phone numbers got her credit cards to work. Now she is charging everything for people to get pocket money. Still no word from mom, dad, or the church secretary.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Bonjour!
Bonjour from Paris!!! We left London via the Chunnel yesterday and arrived in France in no time. Here are some highlights from the last few days—
#1— The number one reason for tears on the trip thus far is camera problems. We have had three children hysterical for camera purposes. Note to all children- everyone will be posting their pictures on Facebook. GET OVER IT.
#2—Best example of confronting problems, identifying solutions, and moving forward must go to the girl who lost her credit card, called the company overseas, cancelled it, and activated her backup card all behind Harvey’s back. If she hadn’t been significantly late while losing said credit card at Harrod’s, Harvey would love her more.
#3—Bus driver update. Here in France we have been blessed with Christoph. He has had no road rage on any of our trips, however, there were no examples of bus driver solidarity. Maybe this doesn’t extend to mainland Europe? More details to follow.
#4—The other male chaperone, Brent, is doing a great job speaking French. Why is this a highlight? I am sure JMU would be happy to know that he succeeded in intermediate French after using certain outside resources (aka Google Translate) to place out of beginner French. C’est bon!!
#5—Our tour guide’s name is Paola. There is so much to say about Paola that it is hard to confine it to any bullet points. Let me share with you some quotes that you should say to yourself in a fake Italian accent until we get home and do the Paola impression for you:
-“Eet will be easy peasy lemon squeezy!”
-“Socks are my weakness!” (She literally wore toeless silver fishnet socks that went in between her big toe and had no heel. Think thongs for feet.)
-“Hahrvey, I do not care if they drink, they just should not get silly.”
-“Hahrvey! You sew?? We can exchange patterns!!”
#6—We were at some gardens in the city center yesterday and determined that the Danchise-Topping construction company should submit a bid to spruce that place up!!
And here are some awards—
The “Wii Fit Award”—To Karen for the effed up way she had to balance on one leg in the tiny stall shower in London. Balance this!
The “Best Stereotype Award”—To the French soccer announcers who spent the entire game tonight saying “Oooohhhhh la la la la la la!” and “Ay yi yi yi yi yi!”
The “Ass Kicker of the Year Award”—To Clare for ripping into the guest tour guide (also named Claire) after the tour guide wanted to send all of the under 18 children through Versailles without a chaperone. Clare gets extra credit for a smackdown!!!!
The “F-tard Award”—To the parents of a student for eating at McDonalds five minutes after arriving in Paris.
The “I see London, I see France Award”—to SK for falling while getting a picture taken at the Eiffel Tower and had her skirt fly up over her head.
Hydration Station— To Karen for drinking a 1.5 liter bottle of water, Perrier, and 5 glasses of water at the dinner table. Let us keep in mind that Karen has not peed yet!
The Becky Groves Memorial Meal in Paris—Baguette du Fromage (it was fabulous).
The Delphi Heat Index—
-We actually had a pleasant first day in Paris but one of our mothers was having hot flashes so she gets the Internal Delphi Heat Index Award.
-Today’s would have to be the top level of the train back from Versailles.
The Internal Heat Regulation Awards—
-Chocolate to help the hot flashes.
-The shade outside Notre Dame that gave Clare goosebumps in 90 degree weather.
P.S. We were treated to quite possibly the most fabulous meal of the trip tonight. We had Tunisian couscous that was served family style. The 2 best parts were—1) Paola giving detailed instructions on how to eat couscous 24 hours in advance, and 2) The GIGANTIC plate of 6 chicken legs and thighs(we are talking half chickens here people) that came out to a table with mostly vegetarians. Harvey and Brent ate like kings!
#1— The number one reason for tears on the trip thus far is camera problems. We have had three children hysterical for camera purposes. Note to all children- everyone will be posting their pictures on Facebook. GET OVER IT.
#2—Best example of confronting problems, identifying solutions, and moving forward must go to the girl who lost her credit card, called the company overseas, cancelled it, and activated her backup card all behind Harvey’s back. If she hadn’t been significantly late while losing said credit card at Harrod’s, Harvey would love her more.
#3—Bus driver update. Here in France we have been blessed with Christoph. He has had no road rage on any of our trips, however, there were no examples of bus driver solidarity. Maybe this doesn’t extend to mainland Europe? More details to follow.
#4—The other male chaperone, Brent, is doing a great job speaking French. Why is this a highlight? I am sure JMU would be happy to know that he succeeded in intermediate French after using certain outside resources (aka Google Translate) to place out of beginner French. C’est bon!!
#5—Our tour guide’s name is Paola. There is so much to say about Paola that it is hard to confine it to any bullet points. Let me share with you some quotes that you should say to yourself in a fake Italian accent until we get home and do the Paola impression for you:
-“Eet will be easy peasy lemon squeezy!”
-“Socks are my weakness!” (She literally wore toeless silver fishnet socks that went in between her big toe and had no heel. Think thongs for feet.)
-“Hahrvey, I do not care if they drink, they just should not get silly.”
-“Hahrvey! You sew?? We can exchange patterns!!”
#6—We were at some gardens in the city center yesterday and determined that the Danchise-Topping construction company should submit a bid to spruce that place up!!
And here are some awards—
The “Wii Fit Award”—To Karen for the effed up way she had to balance on one leg in the tiny stall shower in London. Balance this!
The “Best Stereotype Award”—To the French soccer announcers who spent the entire game tonight saying “Oooohhhhh la la la la la la!” and “Ay yi yi yi yi yi!”
The “Ass Kicker of the Year Award”—To Clare for ripping into the guest tour guide (also named Claire) after the tour guide wanted to send all of the under 18 children through Versailles without a chaperone. Clare gets extra credit for a smackdown!!!!
The “F-tard Award”—To the parents of a student for eating at McDonalds five minutes after arriving in Paris.
The “I see London, I see France Award”—to SK for falling while getting a picture taken at the Eiffel Tower and had her skirt fly up over her head.
Hydration Station— To Karen for drinking a 1.5 liter bottle of water, Perrier, and 5 glasses of water at the dinner table. Let us keep in mind that Karen has not peed yet!
The Becky Groves Memorial Meal in Paris—Baguette du Fromage (it was fabulous).
The Delphi Heat Index—
-We actually had a pleasant first day in Paris but one of our mothers was having hot flashes so she gets the Internal Delphi Heat Index Award.
-Today’s would have to be the top level of the train back from Versailles.
The Internal Heat Regulation Awards—
-Chocolate to help the hot flashes.
-The shade outside Notre Dame that gave Clare goosebumps in 90 degree weather.
P.S. We were treated to quite possibly the most fabulous meal of the trip tonight. We had Tunisian couscous that was served family style. The 2 best parts were—1) Paola giving detailed instructions on how to eat couscous 24 hours in advance, and 2) The GIGANTIC plate of 6 chicken legs and thighs(we are talking half chickens here people) that came out to a table with mostly vegetarians. Harvey and Brent ate like kings!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Greetings for a second and final time from London!
Today's Highlights...
#1--Terry our driver to Windsor shared a little British Road Rage with other drivers and our own tour guide. Meanwhile, in the back of the bus "Ginger" was throwing up all over herself and trash bag. "Why was she so sick?" You might be asking... Because she ate at the ONE vendor we have been instructed not to purchase food from. Serves her right, lesson learned.
#2--Additionally, we learned that bus driver solidarity is international, as Terry also felt the need to give British props to other drivers on the road(the other side of the road).
#3--Harvey learned, that groups are not allowed in Harrod's and had several students escorted out. Harvey, being a true hater of poor customer service, then got in to a brief encounter with a guard, ending with the phrase, "Thanks so much for your hospitality."
#4--One young lady "Sarah," as you may remember from yesterday, came to Europe without money, a working credit/debit cards, her parents' phone numbers, and she also has an emergency contact who is on vacation in Alaska. She had to make panicked phone calls home to the church secretary, in a different state from the pastor, leaving a message on the church machine stating, "This is Sarah I am in Europe and I am having money problems, I need you to find my father's cell phone number, and call my teacher's cell phone in Europe."
#4.5-- Karen helped Sarah get a card to work by charging a 85 pence bottle of water. You have to slide the card slowly, very slowly. We hope Sarah can learn how to say very slowly in all of our necessary languages.
#5-- Check in tonight..."Where is Kim, Where is Kim, We can't find Kim?????" We panic, we call, we run down the hall, we call her parents who are on the trip, and she is NO WHERE to be found! We finally learn from a friend that she is in the hotel lobby bathroom pooping.
Today's Award Winners...
"Courtesy Flush Award"-- Kim, thanks for taking it to the lobby!
"Are they lesbians? Award"-- Two awkward girls, are they lesbians or are they running for co-counselship of the Dork Outreach Program
"What the hell would you do that for? Award"-- Two parents who insisted on riding a Double Decker Red bus to...nowhere!
"Grown Folks Things Award"-- To the silver man in Covent Garden who was taking pictures with tourists, drinking, toking the reefer, and dealing drugs
Delphi Heat Index...Today's HOT location
HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS TOASTER OVEN- A three foot radius.
Post Script-- Internal Heat Regulation Awards is a new category created for those special moments when someone can find a way to cool down.
Yesterday--Harvey wins for freezing his ass off, simply by downing a liter of cold cold water
Today-- Holiday Inn Express fan in room 102-- Karen and Clare BEGGED for this and the teenage staff made it happen late. VERY LATE! This kept the room at a very chilly 80 degrees!
Have a great one. We are off to Paris in the morning. Be on the bus at nine, and you better have your passport or Karen will cut you and Harvey will cry!
Today's Highlights...
#1--Terry our driver to Windsor shared a little British Road Rage with other drivers and our own tour guide. Meanwhile, in the back of the bus "Ginger" was throwing up all over herself and trash bag. "Why was she so sick?" You might be asking... Because she ate at the ONE vendor we have been instructed not to purchase food from. Serves her right, lesson learned.
#2--Additionally, we learned that bus driver solidarity is international, as Terry also felt the need to give British props to other drivers on the road(the other side of the road).
#3--Harvey learned, that groups are not allowed in Harrod's and had several students escorted out. Harvey, being a true hater of poor customer service, then got in to a brief encounter with a guard, ending with the phrase, "Thanks so much for your hospitality."
#4--One young lady "Sarah," as you may remember from yesterday, came to Europe without money, a working credit/debit cards, her parents' phone numbers, and she also has an emergency contact who is on vacation in Alaska. She had to make panicked phone calls home to the church secretary, in a different state from the pastor, leaving a message on the church machine stating, "This is Sarah I am in Europe and I am having money problems, I need you to find my father's cell phone number, and call my teacher's cell phone in Europe."
#4.5-- Karen helped Sarah get a card to work by charging a 85 pence bottle of water. You have to slide the card slowly, very slowly. We hope Sarah can learn how to say very slowly in all of our necessary languages.
#5-- Check in tonight..."Where is Kim, Where is Kim, We can't find Kim?????" We panic, we call, we run down the hall, we call her parents who are on the trip, and she is NO WHERE to be found! We finally learn from a friend that she is in the hotel lobby bathroom pooping.
Today's Award Winners...
"Courtesy Flush Award"-- Kim, thanks for taking it to the lobby!
"Are they lesbians? Award"-- Two awkward girls, are they lesbians or are they running for co-counselship of the Dork Outreach Program
"What the hell would you do that for? Award"-- Two parents who insisted on riding a Double Decker Red bus to...nowhere!
"Grown Folks Things Award"-- To the silver man in Covent Garden who was taking pictures with tourists, drinking, toking the reefer, and dealing drugs
Delphi Heat Index...Today's HOT location
HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS TOASTER OVEN- A three foot radius.
Post Script-- Internal Heat Regulation Awards is a new category created for those special moments when someone can find a way to cool down.
Yesterday--Harvey wins for freezing his ass off, simply by downing a liter of cold cold water
Today-- Holiday Inn Express fan in room 102-- Karen and Clare BEGGED for this and the teenage staff made it happen late. VERY LATE! This kept the room at a very chilly 80 degrees!
Have a great one. We are off to Paris in the morning. Be on the bus at nine, and you better have your passport or Karen will cut you and Harvey will cry!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
It has been a long day, but here you go...
We have enjoyed London thus far and here are some highlights you might want to learn more about...
#1-- Our bus driver from Baltimore waved/flashed lights/ honked at every other bus on 95 to indicate his bus driver solidarity. It did not matter that we were in a hurricane(according to two students), driving 70 miles per hour, and reaching rush hour traffic.
#2-- Big mistake to put someone on the plane with tourette's. Sitting a few rows behind Harvey was a young man who had the twitches "Neal," "Hey," and best of all "HELP!" 7 hours and 650 Helps later everyone was glad to get him off the plane, especially the crew.
#3-- Yesterday was a haze for everyone, but one student actually fell asleep in his Thai rice, earning him the "Shuffle off to Buffalo Award."
#4-- Half the group is on a smoking floor, but we have been informed by the teenage hotel staff that, "It is technically not a smoking room if no one in the room is smoking at the time." Clare and Karen had to have the room deionized...really!
#5--One student described our group as "Half of this group is crazy and half are just way out there." True indeed!
#6-- The Delphi Heat index awards for the last three days go to...
Day One -- Karen standing outside of the running bus, checking Passports, in the hot Richmond sun, for 45 minutes while everyone else got on and off multiple times.
Day Two-- Karen and Clare's Room
Day Three-- Anywhere in the British Museum(except the entry way)
Other awards of note:
"Harvey Hates You" The three women who did not realize that they have only paid to be in a triple for the ENTIRE trip(they hate each other and have been complaining about it and everything else from the moment we got on Staples Mill)
"Poor Planning Award" 'Sarah' who came to Europe with no cash and credit cards that don't work
"I helped you award"-- Karen for purchasing 'Sarah' a phone card to get some MFing cash across the damn pond...now
"Becky Groves Memorial Meal"-- Tomato and Brie Sandwich-- 5 pounds
#1-- Our bus driver from Baltimore waved/flashed lights/ honked at every other bus on 95 to indicate his bus driver solidarity. It did not matter that we were in a hurricane(according to two students), driving 70 miles per hour, and reaching rush hour traffic.
#2-- Big mistake to put someone on the plane with tourette's. Sitting a few rows behind Harvey was a young man who had the twitches "Neal," "Hey," and best of all "HELP!" 7 hours and 650 Helps later everyone was glad to get him off the plane, especially the crew.
#3-- Yesterday was a haze for everyone, but one student actually fell asleep in his Thai rice, earning him the "Shuffle off to Buffalo Award."
#4-- Half the group is on a smoking floor, but we have been informed by the teenage hotel staff that, "It is technically not a smoking room if no one in the room is smoking at the time." Clare and Karen had to have the room deionized...really!
#5--One student described our group as "Half of this group is crazy and half are just way out there." True indeed!
#6-- The Delphi Heat index awards for the last three days go to...
Day One -- Karen standing outside of the running bus, checking Passports, in the hot Richmond sun, for 45 minutes while everyone else got on and off multiple times.
Day Two-- Karen and Clare's Room
Day Three-- Anywhere in the British Museum(except the entry way)
Other awards of note:
"Harvey Hates You" The three women who did not realize that they have only paid to be in a triple for the ENTIRE trip(they hate each other and have been complaining about it and everything else from the moment we got on Staples Mill)
"Poor Planning Award" 'Sarah' who came to Europe with no cash and credit cards that don't work
"I helped you award"-- Karen for purchasing 'Sarah' a phone card to get some MFing cash across the damn pond...now
"Becky Groves Memorial Meal"-- Tomato and Brie Sandwich-- 5 pounds
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Getting Started
We are embarking on a 17 day trip with 31 students to five European countries. Check back here to see what ensues during the trip!
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